Advice Column- Hopelessly in Love

Q. Dear Conversations,

I am in a relationship with a man that I truly adore. I honestly believe that he is my soul mate. We have been together for 9 months and have so much in common. I would do anything for him and I believe that he loves me, but he is married. He tells me that he is unhappy and he will leave his wife, because they really live separate lives, but his 6 year old daughter needs him. He doesn't hide our relationship. We are in the open and I have met his daughter and she really likes me. I just hate that sometimes when I want to be with him, he has to be home with his family. He calls, but it not enough because I want him to myself.

I have driven past his home, followed his wife and to make matters worse... I think his wife may be pregnant. I have confronted him, but he says that she is not. I just have a funny feeling that she has gotten pregnant on purpose to hold on to him and he will not tell me the truth because he does not want to hurt me. I love him so much, but I do not think that I can handle her being pregnant and him being trapped in a loveless marriage. Should I wait on him or demand that he prove to me that he loves me by leaving her to be with me?

Hopelessly in Love

A. Dear Hopelessly in Love,

Oh, where should we begin? Your "boyfriend" is someone else's husband. That is definitely not okay. You stated that he is in an unhappy marriage, but he does not want to leave because of his 6 year old daughter. So, does that mean you have to wait on him for 12 years, until she turns 18 years old (even longer if his wife is currently pregnant)? He is not even respectful of his young daughter to be bringing her around you, his mistress. And if his wife is pregnant, it is not her fault. She is being initimate with her husband and it takes two. Forget about the reasoning that he doesn't want to hurt you; he doesn't want to tell you the truth.

There is nothing great that can come out of your relationship with a married man. Let me tell you something, if he truly loves you, then he wouldn't be with her. Listen you have already given this man 9 months of your life, do not lose anymore of your precious time. When the time is right, you will find someone who will be committed only to you. You mentioned that you loved your "boyfriend", you need to love yourself more. You deserve better. Get rid of the baggage and put yourself in the position to receive better. Go from being hopelessly to being hopeful.

Good Luck!


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